The perfect cat bed: an illustrated guide

If you have a kitty, chances are you love it most of the time and want him/her to be comfortable.

This helpful illustrated guide will show you how to make the perfect bed/pillow for your cat.  Trust me when I say it’s much easier than you think.

First, I’ll show you what NOT to do:

Lovingly construct one out of perfectly sensible materials, such as pretty, colorful fabric and soft stuffing.

This is incorrect, and will receive only cautious stares and sniffs at best.

What you SHOULD do instead:

Place your craft/sewing table near a sunny window and go make some Ramen.

 

Let’s take a look at a breakdown of materials for this project.

(Not pictured: The pin cushion full of pins she allows to remain wedged underneath her ass.)

Also keep in mind, your cat will love this bed a lot more if you make every effort to keep her away from it.  So be sure to do that, because pretty kitty furs do wonders for the inner workings of your sewing machine!

This concludes the lesson on cat bed making, but in all seriousness there’s one more thing you should know before you go…

Non-conformist cat disagrees with your logical idea of what is comfortable, and mocks your ability to create.

 

 

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Mario Mushroom Toes!

I had a long, stressful day at work today and decided to paint my nails tonight while I relaxed.  But I wanted to do something different…something fun and creative.

I guess the Nintendo fangirl in me came out in a big way, because this is what I came up with…

Weeee, they make me so happy, even though the 1ups are horribly disfigured and my toes are an abomination to humankind.  I don’t care though!  Not bad for a first attempt at nail art (is that what it’s called?  That’s what I’m calling it.)

I’ll even tell you how I did it, in case anyone wants to know and try it out for themselves.

Materials:

You’ll need some white, red, and green nail polish, in case that isn’t blatantly obvious from the photo.

You’ll also need: nail polish remover, a few Q-Tips, a toothpick, and a fine-tipped black Sharpie marker.

(Quick note about green polish: I ran into a minor problem because the only shade of green polish I have is a very bright green, almost neon.  Definitely not true to 1up mushroom form.  So, I mixed a few drops of bright green on a paper plate with a couple of drops of a dark blue color that I had.  Mix it around with a toothpick until it’s nicely blended.  Voila! You have dark green.  Use a Q-Tip to apply.)

Step 1: Apply 2-3 coats of white polish to all your nails.

Step 2: Once the white dries, take your red OR green polish and carefully paint a horizontal line across the midpoint of your toenail.  Fill in the top half with the color.  It will probably take at least 2 coats to make it solid enough so that the white doesn’t show underneath.

Step 3: While you’re waiting for all that mess to dry (and if you’re like me, you’ll definitely have a mess at this point), unscrew the lid of your nail polish remover and pour a little bit into the cap.  Soak one end of a Q-Tip, then rub it around the edges of your nails to get extra polish off your skin.  We want our mushrooms to look as neat and tidy as possible!

Step 4: Time to apply the dots and it’s really quite simple.  Dip brush into your white polish but DON’T wipe off all the excess on the sides.  You’ll need a little bit extra to just carefully ‘dot’ in various places.  It’s a little more tedious to do on the smaller toes.  Just 2 or 3 teeny tiny dots is all it takes.

Step 5: Please listen to me when I say WAIT FOR YOUR DOTS TO DRY BEFORE MOVING ON.  They’re very easily smeared, and having to start over at this point really, really blows.  Don’t ask me how I know.

ANYWAY

This step is pretty self explanatory.  Once all the polish is dry, with your Sharpie draw 2 vertical parallel lines in the white part of each nail.  The ‘eyes’ should touch the color at the top, but NOT go all the way down to the cuticle.

Be creative with your colors and have fun!

 

 

I successfully made my own Febreze!

It’s been several months since I actually bought any Febreze even though I LOVE the product.  No, I LUUURVE Febreze.  I believe it must be heaven’s tap water in a spray bottle.  It’s just that it’s so unreasonably expensive and I get so excited about my couch smelling great that I blow through an entire bottle way too soon.

I’m completely addicted to Pinterest (for real, I can’t believe some of the things people can make/do/sew/paste together/etc.  If there’s anyone out there that can make beautiful Picasso-esque paintings with leftover lipstick stumps and Q-tips, I guarantee you it’s already on Pinterest).  My point is, I’ve discovered some really cool things there, including a recipe for homemade Febreze.  Or, Fauxbreze.  Ha, get it?  I’d like to think that I coined that term myself…let me have my moment, please.

As you can see in the photo, I’ve used quite a bit already.  Please ignore my crappy hand drawn block letters.  I originally wanted to make a cute little label on the computer to print out and attach to the bottle.  Of course, after I spent a lot of time getting it to look the way I wanted, my trusty printer that I’ve had for 3 years decided it wanted to ruin my life and stop working.  So with it on the fritz, I resorted to good old fashioned pencil and paper.  Then I realized I made it way too big for the bottle.  I gave up completely and decided to just crudely hold it in front of the camera lens.

Anyway, I discovered the recipe over on Fake-it-Frugal, and you only need 4 ingredients to make your own:

  • Spray bottle (you could use an actual empty Febreze bottle if you have one, but I didn’t so I bought an ironing spray bottle from Wal-Mart for 97¢.
  • 1/4 Cup fabric softener (whatever kind you prefer. I actually bought Great Value brand from Wal-Mart and I really like the scent.  Much cheaper than the name brands too). The original recipe called for 1/8 Cup fabric softener, but I chose to add more because the scent wasn’t strong enough to my liking with 1/8 Cup.
  • 1 OR 2 Tbsp. baking soda (I only used 1 tbsp. because my bottle is tiny).
  • Hot tap water to fill up the bottle the rest of the way.

Mix it all together in your bottle and give it a good shake.  Spray on every porous object in your home.  Be delighted.

In all honesty, I can say that this is a complete success.  I’ve been using it for 3 days now and it works every bit as well as the real stuff.  Febreze (as with most other commercial cleaning products) contains a TON of ingredients, so I know you’re thinking how can this homemade concoction mimic it so well?  In my opinion, it’s because it contains the most effective simple ingredients to achieve the same results.  Fabric softener for the nice scent, baking soda to absorb odors, and water to make it all blend and play well together.  Easy peasy.

Also, there’s the awesome money savings to consider!  A bottle of Febreze was nearly $5 the last time I bought it, and I could use it all up in 2 or 3 weeks.  This fauxbreze (teehee, there’s that word again!) is…well, it’s a lot cheaper.  I don’t have my exact figures in front of me.  But after making a completely accurate cost analysis of both products, I can infer that making your own Febreze will save you 75 kazillion dollars per year.

GO MAKE SOME.