Sauce packets

I am just one of the many people in this world who holds on to things with the intent of actually finding them useful in the near future. Waste not, want not as the saying goes.  I particularly like collecting sauce packets from restaurants.

I always pick up the pile and try to put them back where they belong.  Then I try again when they fall. And again. And again.

Until finally…

And then the cycle starts again soon afterward.  I never learn.

 

 

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Cheese punch

Everything in our refrigerator has its rightful place.  For instance, I like to keep the cheese comfortably nestled on the right side.  Usually, it looks something like this when you open the door.

Nice and neat.  Zen fridge.  But the other day, I opened the door to find this.

Cheese slices everywhere!  Violently ripped from their cozy package and strewn about!  So what in the hell happened?

I think I have it figured out.  I was in the middle of doing nothing one night, dozing off on the couch.  Josh went to the kitchen for a snack.  I heard rustling around in the fridge, noises, crinkling of paper, a loud noise, expletives declared.  I thought nothing of it and went to sleep.  I should have known he’d be destroying things.  Since I wasn’t there to see it, here’s my explanation for how we got from point A to point B.

He opens the fridge door.

Result: cheese massacre.

It all makes perfect sense now.

The perfect cat bed: an illustrated guide

If you have a kitty, chances are you love it most of the time and want him/her to be comfortable.

This helpful illustrated guide will show you how to make the perfect bed/pillow for your cat.  Trust me when I say it’s much easier than you think.

First, I’ll show you what NOT to do:

Lovingly construct one out of perfectly sensible materials, such as pretty, colorful fabric and soft stuffing.

This is incorrect, and will receive only cautious stares and sniffs at best.

What you SHOULD do instead:

Place your craft/sewing table near a sunny window and go make some Ramen.

 

Let’s take a look at a breakdown of materials for this project.

(Not pictured: The pin cushion full of pins she allows to remain wedged underneath her ass.)

Also keep in mind, your cat will love this bed a lot more if you make every effort to keep her away from it.  So be sure to do that, because pretty kitty furs do wonders for the inner workings of your sewing machine!

This concludes the lesson on cat bed making, but in all seriousness there’s one more thing you should know before you go…

Non-conformist cat disagrees with your logical idea of what is comfortable, and mocks your ability to create.